A Tax Joke? Taxes are Not a joke!

I don’t normally posts jokes.  Taxes are not funny.

But this was sent to me, and it made me laugh as a former employee of the CRA responsible to collections, compliance and a variety of other responsibilities.

Here it is;

A local Canadian bar, You Moose Be Joking, was so sure that its bartenders – Bob and Doug McKenzie – were the strongest men in the Yukon, that they offered a standing $1000 bet to anyone who dared to take them up on their challenge.

Each bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and then they would each hand their lemon to a patron, and if that patron could squeeze just one more drop of lemon juice out of that lemon, they would win the money.

Over the years, many people, and a couple of Moose had tried, but failed.  That list includes: weightlifters, longshoremen, radiologists, race-car drivers, doctors, lawyers, politicians, students, and even duct cleaners. 

Nobody could squeeze one single drop out of the lemons.

Then one cold, windy day, a scrawny, pale, tired looking man walked into the bar, and with a very faint almost unassuming voice, he went over to the bar, pushed up his thick, dirty glasses, and meekly said; “I’d like to try the lemon bet.”

The bar went silent, as everyone looked at the man, and sized up his chances of succeeding at this challenge.

Once the laughter died down, the bartender said, “OK.  Let’s do it!”  He gathered the other bartender, and they each grabbed a lemon, and squeezed them until their faces went red, and not a single drop was left in the fruit.

They each handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to this man, and without any effort, he squeezed the lemons – one in each hand – until drops of lemon juice poured out of his hands, down his wrists and onto the floor.

The crowd fell silent.

Then, after realizing that he had succeeded at this challenge, the crowd erupted, gathered up the man and put him on their shoulders.

“Drinks are on me!” The man said.

“How did you do that?”, the bartenders queried.  “Are you a lumberjack?  Or a weight-lifter?  How did you do that?”

The man smirked and said; “I’m great at getting blood from a stone!  I work for Revenue Canada.”

 

Groan.

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Author: Warren Orlans

Welcome to inTAXicating. My name is Warren Orlans and this is my blog. With over 17-years experience in the taxation industry, 11 of them working for the Canada Revenue Agency (CRA), and the rest working in the private sector at large financial institutions responsible for resolving tax issues for corporations and individuals and the Canadian lead for a large US bank on FATCA implementation. My tax career began pretty much out of university at the CRA, in Collections, where I moved up, across, over and up again through their division with stops in Enforcement, Taxpayer Relief (then Fairness), Audit, Directors Liability, Training, Mentoring, GST, GST/HST, Payroll, Corporate Tax, Personal tax, and probably much more. If you have a collections, compliance or audit issue with the CRA, inTAXicating is the place you need to contact. inTAXicating works in strategic partnership with amazing tax lawyers, insolvency practitioners, mortgage brokers, debt counselling experts and much more. When dealing with governments, knowledge is power. We possess strong understanding of government so we know what the next step is before the government does. When you have a collections problem with the CRA, do you hire a graphic artist? No, you get a former collector who trained the staff, and who worked as a resource officer for 5 years. Then you know you are on the right track to resolving your tax problem(s). Others offer suggestions. We offer solutions! info@intaxicating.ca

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