Since today is Thursday, I thought a Thursday Thirteen themed post might be a good change of pace!
Here are 13 things that should NEVER be said to someone with a tax problem, from someone who claims to want to help (or just your money).
Each quote below was an actual quote uttered by a tax solution representative or accountant to a prospective client in my presence.
Sit tight, and get ready to shake your head in disbelief…
13. “GST, HST, PST… They’re all the same.”
12. “CRA Collectors don’t care about you. They treat their clients like a ‘whack-a-mole’ game. You pop your head up and they smack you on the head with a hammer. We provide you with a helmet or advise you to stay underground until the game is over.”
11. “You’re an alcoholic? GREAT! Substance abuse qualifies for relief!!”
10. “I can tell you for a fact that the Auditor General requires the CRA to close files, NOT collect money. The benchmark is 7-years. We can close your file in 7-years!”
9. “You’re just a little guy! Nobody cares about you.”
8. “If you tell the CRA anything you are shooting yourself in the feet. That’s dumb and it hurts.”
7. “I know the CRA have won in Tax Court, but they are wrong, and this time we have everything we need to prove them wrong!”
6. “Just ignore them and it will all go away.”
5. “You don’t need to speak to a Tax lawyer, or an accountant. They’re useless. You should never talk to the tax preparer. Just pay us $5,000 and we can make it all go away.”
4. “The Taxman…”
3. “I don’t care what the CRA wants, and how soon they want it. They’re getting what I want to give them, when I’m ready to give it to them, AND they’re going to see that I’m right and they are wrong.”
2. “We need to reduce the amount that you owe, so I’m going to create a T2200 for you, and claim a lot of expenses that your employer has not deducted like mileage, phone, and parking. They’ll never know its not true and on the off-chance that they ask, I have hundreds of parking receipts in my car I can give them. It’s perfectly fine…”
- “Don’t even bother opening that envelope… Just throw it out.”
Just missing this list, but barely, is the commonly uttered line; “Quick, transfer the house out of your name before the CRA registers a lien against it!”